Alexander The Pish, or Jersey On My Mind

Wendy Schmendy continues to be the daftest fucker ever to become the leader of a political party, and seeing Scottish Labour's track record, that is indeed a magnificent achievement. Her story, that she seemed to think everything was above board and didnae know, because of advice taken by "experts", just doesn't hold up. If they missed that one, then they aren't much fucking good as experts, are they Wendy? I'd love to use this excuse to the Inland Revenue; "Oh, I was going to pay my taxes, but this bloke round the pub who said he was an accountant said I didn't need to. He was a good bloke, bought me pork scratchings and everything. In any case, I didn't know, so I can get off scot free, yeah?" Alas, I believe the response of the IR would be something along the lines of "Get tae fuck".

But the law works differently for daft fucks who just happen to be in charge of a political party, and it's unlikely, barring a sudden jolt of self-conscience by the Standards Committee, that Wendy will get anything more than a slap on the wrist, or maybe a lobbying job when she steps down after the next election, when she gets utterly skooshed by the Nats. Because, let's face it, that's what's going to happen; even if what she's saying is the truth, and it was those awful legal experts that totally stitched her up, this ongoing scandal has done nothing but hurt her. Coming out in dreeps and draps has been a godsend for the Nats, dominating the narrative about her, and preventing policy debate on the Nats' legislative program. It's lose-lose for her; if she really didn't know, she's incompetent, if she did know, she's a lawbreaking, lying weasel. And this is before we get into the matter of the other £10,000 unaccounted for, not to mention the dodgy fundraising dinner. So we get no message across from Labour except perennial defense for the Amazing Adventures of Wendy Alexander, all the while Salmond takes the piss out of her, as only the fat, jolly, tartan-laden bastard can do. There must be many Labour MSPs, and ordinary party members, sick to the teeth of defending her and wishing she'd commit hari-kiri, sooner rather than later. I know I'd pay for the tantō.